Thursday, November 20, 2008

Agnostic Proclamations, Part 1

Anyone who watches Real Time with Bill Maher is familiar with the final segment called "New Rules", in which Maher offers a sensible and comical perspective on current issues or events of interest. In reading and watching news throughout the day and conversing with people of various opinions, I often find my thoughts can be formulated into short, direct pieces of commentary as well. There is great value in precise, to-the-point arguments and evaluations, which is why I'm starting this ongoing series called "Agnostic Proclamations", my own sort of new rules and in reference to my perspective as an agnostic. First up, I'd like to address the idea, and resulting conclusions, rooted in religious writing, teaching, and belief, that God created man and woman, and therefore any sexual behavior conducted outside of this "natural intent" is wrong and sinful. My blog entries included in the series will start off with a statement or two and continue with my ensuing thoughts on the matter, as follows:

If you've EVER in a period of your life mainly had sex other than for the purposes of procreation, you don't get to claim sex, on an individual level, is mainly for the purpose of creating new life. Furthermore, if you have no control over who you're attracted to, you don't get to assume others DO have such a power.

Human sexuality must not be cheapened to man+woman=baby=good. Even the Roman Catholic Church has brought itself to admit sexual activity is acceptable for married couples unable to bear children and during pregnancy, and promotes natural family planning. To me, such assertions acknowledge very plainly that sexual contact serves other functions outside of birthing new humans.

In my experience and frame of knowledge, the act of sex has a powerful emotional component. Beyond feeling damn good, which should be reason enough to encourage sex in safe practice, human sexuality promotes a special sort of intimacy that has the potential to heighten the bond with our partner(s). To put something so intricate in simple terms, sex can be an overwhelming and compelling expression of love. Who are we to define that love as experienced by others?

Additionally, no one has control over who they are drawn to in terms of emotional, intellectual, physical, psychological, and sexual attraction...it's simply something about ourselves that just is. We may be able to distinguish qualities of a specific person we're attracted to in order to explain why we favor them, but not completely why that is in the first place. Therefore, until the most qualified collaborative team of objective scientists, doctors, psychologist, and other gifted professionals come together and explain, without any conflict, the exact science of attraction, no one gets to discredit or degrade the attractions of any human for another. It's a ridiculous notion to assume we are able or will ever be able to fully explain human attraction and sexuality. It's one of those complicatedly complex matters we are well served by acknowledging we will never have all the answers to.

Let's not forget also that the physical sex of an individual, as well as their gender, are not always so easily defined. Labels such as man, woman, male, and female do not even come close to covering all the possibilities. Many intersexuals whose parents elected not to have them surgically more distinguishable as male or female commend their parents' decision. Furthermore, many people born with intersex, whose parents did choose to have them surgically altered, feel the right decision was not made in their case, especially in previous generations, before intersexuality was relatively well understood and societal pressures so disconcerting and unyielding. On the issue of gender, which is very socially and culturally defined, the usual dichotomy is absolutely not universal. There are other cultures, such as some Native American cultures, that recognize more than two genders. What's more, they not only identify multiple genders, but revere them. In such societies, a male thought to have a more female spirit and a female believed to have a more male spirit are both highly respected. Many of the world's cultures are starving for such a healthy dose of awareness and appreciation related to the gray area of physical sex, and especially the notion of gender.

We will never be able to fully explain the intricacies of human attraction and sexuality; therefore, we must not make the mistake of expecting we do understand and base our unfounded judgments on such arrogant assumptions. Not very many things in our scope of knowledge can be explained in black and white terms and sexuality will never be on that list. One of the fabulous things about humanity is the variation we embody in every characteristic and quality that is human. Just because we may not understand those variations absolutely does not give us license to dismiss such differences as unfavorable. It is an enriching and empowering experience to approach what we don't initially comprehend in each other with enthusiasm and with an open mind and heart, especially when our potentially false assumptions have the power to impact the very lives and happiness of others. Whether it concerns ethnicity, nationality, religion, or sexuality, we must not make the mistaken of using our own yardstick to measure and judge the experiences of others; to do so would be especially unwise, haughty, and unscrupulous, potentially resulting in tragic consequences. All of human history, both ancient and what we are currently living, can attest to that.

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